Inside
by Jasmine LS
Summary: Dan Humphrey's life as a writer, as Gossip Girl, as a judgmental prick, as a guy who wondered if Blair had not refused him. AU with characters like Cece Rhodes and Diana Payne as supporting characters. ONE SHOT


Dan woke up at 6, finding himself stuck in yet again another girl's arms he barely knew. He untangled her from his torso and went to the bathroom, looking himself in the mirror. It was a routine as he took his toothbrush and toothpaste. He blankly watches himself as another day goes by and nothing really changes. Work, bar, one night stand, sleep and then it goes around. Working sounds like a trip but recycling the same hash of editing articles instead of actually making a journal of writing wasn't fascinating at all. But he's done being fascinating, he's done writing words that could destroy someone.

Dan was off to work, but then his shoes seemed to be missing.

"You leaving?" asked the petite blonde who is none other than his own sister, Jenny.

"Yeah, I got another big day, as always," Dan said blankly while finding his shoes.

"Who's the babe?" Jenny said boringly.

"I…" he tried to remember but he was awfully wasted last night. "Can you…?"

"I'll play the young ex-wife mode to send her away," Jenny poured some orange juice in the glass. "It's fortunate that we don't look alike."

"Yeah, I mean you get dad's charm off the bat," Dan searched around for his shoes.

"And you get mom's sarcasm," Jenny barked back. She watched as her brother searched for his shoes. "It's under the first shelf on the left."

Dan smiled. "Thanks."

"You're 27 Dan. I think you should, I don't know, consider settling down."

"Getting married at 27 is young don't you think? It would end as fast as Kim Kardashian's marriage at that age," Dan puts on his shoes.

"The fact that you are referencing Kim Kardashian is pretty disturbing. No, I don't mean marriage, I meant a relationship. You finding a girl and settle for at least 3 months not a one night stand. You could get herpes," Jenny scrunched her nose.

Dan kissed his sister on the cheek. "That's why we have condoms, young one."

"Eww," Jenny looked on as her brother waved goodbye.

Jenny was worried, as always about her brother's criteria on living life. He used to be the fun one, the one who is responsible, the stable brother. But nowadays Dan just lived off like other guys would be if their life was so messed up. Dan still blames himself, always did. Jenny kept holding onto him, just in case one day he finally knock his senses and turn around. Or worse, when he finally explode and kills himself.

Dan looked at his desk and there was a pile of pictures on it. He just sat down and stared at it. He works in a new tabloid company called The Spectator as a somewhat writer, packing in anything the photographers has and puts down caption on pictures. He was sarcastic as his sister said and that is exactly what the tabloid needs. He looks through the pictures, didn't know a single damn person on it. But he's smart enough to make s snide remarks on it.

"I don't understand how you can work like this" his co worker Pete stood beside him. "Yet I have to say, you are pretty good at it."

"It pays the bill," Dan smiled.

"Well, it's better to be on Diana's good side today. She went in pretty early, and you know it's all cranky in Payneville if she's here early. But no, you are his golden boy around here. Everyone knows she loves you. It's only us the minions that are in danger," Pete peeked into the closed curtains of Diana's office. "You banged her right?"

"Pete, I told you from the start, I did not sleep with Diana, nor am I a favorite or anything. I just do the job well and she likes that I'm sarcastic," he would never tell the real reason Diana favored him or that she pays him 10 times than others get.

"Okay, it's just… what everyone says," Pete looked around. "Do you know she had a fling with one of the Archibald?"

"Who's the Archibald?" Dan roamed through the pictures.

"You work in a freaking tabloid magazine and you have no idea who the Archibald is?" Pete was shocked. More so when Dan shook his head when he asked if The Van Der Bilt ring any bell. "You have got to be kidding me. Are you living in some restricting area Kim Jong Un own where they have no internet?"

"I live in Brooklyn. So Manhattan people is kind of off my 'I care about them so much I have to know them' list," he looked down as he checked another photo. "But I know Kim Kardashian so that's one."

"Because Diana made you write a piece on her when she divorced, and now Kim favored you beause you're the nice journalist," Pete rolled his eyes. He looked on Dan. "You have a freaking degree from Dartmouth and you had an article published in TIME. What are you doing here dude?"

Dan looked at Pete. "Sometimes it's better to sell these lies rather than the truth. Lies are entertaining while it lasts but the truth, it could be someone's daughter."

=5 years ago=

"Now this is the kind of stuff that I just detest," Noah Shapiro barked at the young 21 years old Dan Humphrey. "Lonely Boy finding happiness in Brooklyn, meet the girl of his dreams and somehow couldn't get her but time goes by and finally they belong together. Do you think this internship is a joke?"

Dan could only raise his brows. "You told me to write what I knew."

"I told you to write something decent," Noah shook his head. "Is this because I took your article on Steven Parker and published it in The Times? That made your name public!"

"He was a Dean in Dartmouth. It almost cost me to be dropped," Dan ignored Noah's publisher, Alessandra who chuckled on the subject. "And it wasn't at all finished."

"It already became a hit! Have some balls, Humphrey. That Dartmouth degree is not taking you anywhere without this internship. Now find me another story that is worth my time," Noah went back to his office, leaving Dan at his desk. Dan shrugged and rolled his eyes. He knew that, a Dartmouth degree is nothing compared to a recommendation letter from Noah Shapiro.

"You okay?" Alessandra approached him.

"Yeah," Dan looked up front and he receives a glare from her. "No."

"Well, for one, you have balls to go that far with him," Alessandra sat on his desk, looking down on him. "What happened? I thought you said Steven Parker deserved it. And that you are too much of a diamond for Dartmouth that anything you'll write would be fine, even how much of a scandal it may cause."

Dan looked down, feeling the guilt all over again. "He has a daughter, and she's only 13." Dan looked up at Alessandra. "How would you feel if suddenly at 13 you have negative things thrown at you because it was known to public that your father was a sexual offender?"

Alessandra looked at him. "You know when you first came in here, I thought you were very much like Noah. Ballsy, rough and will do anything to tear some people apart, the sole reason he hired you. But no." Dan looked down. Seems like she'll be giving negative comments. "Fortunately you still have a heart."

"Thanks. I guess," Dan said.

Dan walked home and took his phone out. He dialed a number and called up his girlfriend.

"Hey, Vanessa," he smiled. He had been in a relationship with Vanessa fresh out of high school. He met her while he was waiting for Jenny after her Fashion Class in the Upper East Side, and there she was fighting for the rights of an old bar right on Broadway. She was strong and mesmerizing, exotic some would say but her heart is what kept him with her. "Yeah I just got off from Shapiro's office."

He was in a good time of his life now, even if Shapiro busted it a bit publishing his article without his consent, it did bring his name in TIME magazine. Everybody kept saying that his daughter would survive. He takes that into his head and tried to ignore the uneasy feeling inside.

He walked up to his loft and sees a visitor. It was Steven Parker, in all black and white lilies in his hand.

"Hello, Daniel," he said, face tired, obviously from the scrutinize of people. "Happy now?"

"What?"

"Are you happy?" Steven suddenly smirked. "Yes, I play a little with those students. But come on who has a happy marriage nowadays. Even Evelyn knows that!" Steven sees Dan silencing himself. "Oh right, you didn't know her name. Evelyn Parker, my daughter, who won't even look at me in the eye when the article was published, who hates me more than my wife does, who left yesterday hanging herself in her room because it was too much!"

Dan was shocked. So shocked that all he could do was stare at him, stare at the man who was too broken to realize his own fault.

"Are you blaming me for your decisions?" Dan looked at him, eyes cold, baring his soul. "I just wrote a simple truth about your decisions and you're putting it all on me? Sorry Parker, but I have nothing to do with this. Your daughter is dead because of you. You're only putting this on me because you can't accept that you are your own doing."

Steven Parker latched his fist on Dan's head and Dan felt blood flowing on his head. Dan felt that he deserved the punch. Whatever he said, it was too cruel, even if it was true, it was too cruel, something that is best to keep in. Steven kept hitting him and he couldn't feel pain because he deserved it. The last thing he remembered was his father running to him to stop Steven.

He woke up in a hospital. He knew the smell well enough. His mother died in the same place when he was younger. He looked beside him and there was Vanessa sleeping on the couch. Then he looked at up front, there was the nurse checking his charts, scribbling things that he wouldn't be able to understand. He tried to get up when the nurse went out, but he had woken Vanessa up.

"Hey, hey, easy tiger," Vanessa helped him up. "He got you pretty bad, you almost broken a rib."

"Well, I hope I did," Dan looked down, laughing a bit.

"Hey, you okay?" Vanessa held his hand, hers was warm but then he felt that maybe he was the one who is too cold.

"No," Dan immediately answered. Suddenly his eyes watered. "How can I… I mean I should have known!"

"Hey, shh." Vanessa hugged him and tried to calm him down.

"Her name was Evelyn. And if I didn't write those things, no matter how true it was, she would still be in school, with her friends. And…."

"It's not your fault," she kept chanting, but it didn't work. As he kept on crying, for the guilt he had. He tried to give reasons that would help him get over it, but like what he said to Steven Parker, this is all his own doing and he's having the hardest time to avoid it. He's at fault, he killed that young girl.

From that moment, everything changed. He quits the internship in Shapiro's office but somehow miraculously finished his studies in Dartmouth. He loved Vanessa, he really did but somehow things didn't work out with him putting a distance with her or anyone around. The only person who could sort him out was his sister, Jenny. But even she had a hard time penetrating him.

Dan worked as an assistant in a newspaper room downtown but his boss there had lost his patience when Dan actually slept with the intern he's having an affair with. Dan got fired and started picking up jobs in Starbucks and restaurants.

But things got worse when his father had a stroke and all the hospital bills came in. He would never let Jenny forget her dreams to help him pay the bills, which is why he walked into The Spectator with an idea. It was a new magazine at the time and Diana Payne was looking for a new fresh start for a tabloid. He was actually interviewing for the junior editor spot but Diana thinks he's too young.

"Is this a tabloid?" he asked.

"No, it is not," Diana looked at him. "The interview is done, you can g…"

"You want real news right? A real scandal," Dan started. "I, uh… I went to the Upper East Side school, St. Jude. And well, everyone there had a story to tell."

"I don't understand, Mr. Humphrey," Diana eyed him.

"I was on a writer's block and I figured I would write something out of being in the Upper East Side. But I had no resources. These people, the people you are trying to find out, each of them, they had something to say. Just like those students in St. Jude and Constance, everyone had a secret to tell. But they won't just to save face. Image is pretty important around those kids," Dan looked straight at Diana. "But there is this medium, a simple blog I put under the username Gossip Girl. I linked it to several girls I knew would have the scandalous views on everything, reciting, 'You can use my name to reveal anything you wanted'. And they simply emailed Gossip Girl, telling all the scandal about Manhattan's elite. They'd do it because they will remain anonymous."

Diana listened to him very carefully. "What is the difference to other blogs that have tips like Perez Hilton?"

"They felt safer with the person who is also anonymous. Ambiguity works much better with them. Unlike Perez Hilton who searches for tips, Gossip Girl receives tips almost every day."

"And then you post those tips online?" Diana asked.

"No," Dan said and he sees Diana confused. "I get to decide their story. The tips are more than just scandals, they are sometimes a feeling, a confession. For 4 years, I prepared a medium where people tell their stories and I wrote them in a way I wanted. I think you wanted to write like that, you wanted the power to information and I can give you that. I can code in a new blog and send it to the people that will share information. On several conditions of course."

Diana eyed him. "What do you want in exchange?"

Dan smiled. "A job with a paycheck way too big for that job." Dan looked at her. "And I get to choose what to take from the blog."

Diana thought for a bit. She stood up and held her hand up. "Welcome to The Spectator Mr. Humphrey."

Dan had been writing the major news in the Spectator. Almost for 2 years now. He sends in all the anonymous big tips to several writers in the office. They get the big names, and he controls the story there. Because he needs it to be that way, to control the parts that would change everything.

Diana was very satisfied with his work and his father was feeling much better too. It should be good, right, he's changing everything back to normal, but somehow the guilt over Evelyn Parker's death still remains and whatever it is that he does, Evelyn still remains.

"Daniel," he heard Diana calling him. "Office, now."

Dan walked into the office, ignoring the whispers around him. "Yeap?"

"Your old publisher Alessandra called me the other day," Diana eyed his reaction. When she sees none, she continued. "She wanted you to write for her client."

"Well, yeah, I'm kind of over writing," Dan said. Diana looked at him skeptically. "Using my name anyway."

"That particular client is actually one of my very good friend," Diana smiled. "Celia Rhodes, or sometimes people call her Cece. And she actually told me what she was looking for in a writer."

"What? People that can bullshit into their biography?" Dan tried.

"No. People who can see more than just a scandalous story. Cece wants her own story to be told out there but people kept judging her for her status. She needed someone who sees more. I think you are the perfect person to do that. You think you are selling lies here by controlling the things coming out from the tabloid, but I think that was just you being selfish on what to write. If you say it was because of Parker's case, I doubt it. If you were really troubled by Parker you already left the journal world. But here you are. Still trying to control the stories." Diana looked through her window, looking at the bus journalist trying to find stories. "Those writers out there, which I kept wondering why I hired them in the first place added unnecessary scandals most of the times, I preferred yours anyway." Diana looked at him. "An ambiguous approach. Naturally it's actually those kinds that the crowd loved. Pretty smart. But truthfully it won't take you anywhere and I know it drives you crazy. 4 years of Gossip Girl pretty much bury those judgmental self worthy bastard in you."

"Listen, Diana…"

"Meet her today at the Oak Room for dinner. Wear a suit, and you don't have to decide now. See her first, and maybe she would change your mind," Diana smiled at him. "Trust me Daniel. This will be good for you. You think Evelyn Parker is hunting you. I think it's just you not realizing your real potential." In a way, they have earned each other's trust in the process. He trusted her, which is why he is looking at the mirror in his loft, preparing to leave for the Oak Room.

It was fancy, classy, extravagant, all the expensive words coming out. He didn't realize that tonight was a party until the waiter asked for his name. Surprisingly he's in the guest list. He didn't know anyone there, it was all Upper East Side vibe all over again and quite frankly, he hated that vibe. A vibe that makes you feel that you don't belong. He looked around and he sees some familiar faces from school but definitely the ones he hindered from meeting.

"Daniel Humphrey?" he looked back and see a pretty waitress asking for him.

"Yes?"

"Cece is waiting for you in the VIP room," she smiled.

"Sure," he followed the waitress. "VIP huh." He could never get used to this kind of luxury.

He entered a very much expensive area of the Oak Room. He sat down as the waitress call in for Cece. Suddenly, a pretty blonde came in, and he recognized her. Serena Van Der Woodsen. The pretty blonde who is always headlining his blog during high school.

"Hi?" she was confused as to why he was here.

"Hey," he kept it short.

"You are not one of Cece's boy toys or anything right?" Serena asked.

"No, he's not," an old lady in her 60's came out, glamorous as ever and looking at the resemblance between her and Serena, it was obvious that those two are related. "Hello, dear. How was Moscow?" She kissed Serena on her cheeks.

"It was fine," Serena chirped. "Even if Blair did not make it easy since her break up with Nate."

Dan recognized that name. He wished she wasn't here.

"Ah you must be Daniel," Cece noticed him. "Serena, this is my new writer for my own biography."

"Oh," Serena smiled at him. If he didn't stare too much on her short skirt, he might be able to realize she was flirting with her eyes.

"Um, actually…" Dan started.

"But Diana did tell you the deal," Cece watched him.

"Deal?" Dan was confused.

"You are on a 1 night trial. Sure Diana recommended you and Alessandra who is a very successful publisher also thinks highly of you, but I wouldn't let anyone interfere with my life until he met my own standards." Cece smiled as she sees a more confused Dan. "For a start, just enjoy the party first and I'll be down with you in a minute."

"You have your criteria?" Dan didn't want to do it, but this challenge from this lady made him doing things against his will. "I need to know my standards too."

"All the writers around kept selling me ambiguous persona of myself and even if it is endearing to hear how strong of a woman I am, I don't want that," Cece stood up and eyed Dan. "No bullshit." Cece left him in the room with Serena.

"Sorry. My grandma is kind of weird at times," she smiled. "Listen, just hang around and you'll see that she's not that bad." She pulled him out to the party, and as easy as she flows, she held onto him like she had known him forever.

Dan eyed Cece and she was like other Upper East Side royal, twinkling their eyes on everything their guest says but probably never honest about anything themselves. It was all business. He sighed. No bullshit his ass. Cece Rhodes is just another mogul who wanted attention through her biography. Serena's company was a pleasure though. He liked that she laughs easily even at his stupid puns. Her smile was as bright as her hair and she was as free as a wild child. He remembered everyone in Constance wanted to know more of her, and actually know more of her. She was the queen in his blog. Serena and….

"Blair!" Serena called and Dan looked behind him. The devil herself had come. He could see her eyeing him and her fake smile approached as she kissed Serena on the cheek. "I was looking for you, where have you been?"

"I was with my dad for a bit before he goes back to Italy," Blair smiled. Dan remembered as all hell breaks loose when Harold Waldorf left Eleanor Waldorf for a male model. He wrote it as the disgrace of Queen B. But it didn't wear her down as she begins to stay on stronger. "And you bought a charity case Humphrey here, how nice."

Dan rolled his eyes. Of course, after almost 10 years, Blair Waldorf still acts like she hates him.

=10 and a half years ago=

He was sitting in a hallway, waiting for the girl who was supposed to be his partner in meeting Dean Weatherby, a very important person who can write the best recommendation letter to an Ivy League. Dan was the best student in St. Jude while Blair in Constance. They were both given a chance to have lunch with Dean Weatherby during his visit. But he heard he was a tough man to get through and almost none got his recommendation.

He heard footsteps coming in and he sees her and her preppy uniform. She has her business mode on and even if Dan barely knew her, he knew not to mess with her.

"Ugh, can you not smell like pork and cheese?" Blair whined while looking down on him.

"You must be Blair," he heard of her. Apparently, the first impression he had was evil. She was the person most of the girls in Constance hated. Some other worshipped her for being the devil. Dan stayed away as he could but that day, the circumstances were a bit different.

Blair sat beside him and he can smell her perfume. He ignored her most of the day while waiting for Dean Weatherby to show up. While she was on her phone, checking in Gossip Girl. Oh the irony, he thought.

Both stood up when they see the small plump man walking with the Headmistress. Turns out he couldn't make it for lunch and turns it into dinner. He waved goodbye and Dan sighed. His nerves is prolonged and he had no idea how to approach Dean Weatherby. He walked off before he heard Blair Waldorf calling his name.

"You called me?" he was confused on why the stuck up girl called him.

"No, I called pork and cheese," she still has her feisty remarks. "I have checked on Dean Weatherby and turns out he has a special heart for young couples."

"I'm sorry, I don't get it," Dan looked at her. She didn't seem pleased either.

"I don't want to do this but to get that recommendation letter, perhaps we should pair up and…" Blair took a deep breathe. "Play a couple."

"Excuse me?" now he was really confused on her proposals.

"I don't want to do this too but as individuals, he doesn't see us as anyone special but as a couple, we can get him emotionally. He's the sappy type so it should be quick a dinner tonight."

"I don't think playing a couple would make him giving us recommendation letter, Waldorf," Dan couldn't believe that Blair Waldorf was scheming all the way in. A scheme which doesn't make sense at all.

Blair rolled her eyes. "Fine. I have other methods to enter Yale anyway. You on the other hand, hopefully Dartmouth would at least consider you." Blair stomped away and Dan rolled his own eyes. Even if it did bother him at the time.

It was almost 8 and he was already waiting in Café Boulud with Blair by his side. He had to admit she looked nice in her dress. He looked around and he sees a car pulling off, and Dean Weatherby was there and he wasn't alone. He brought his wife. Then he realized that Blair was right. Who brings their wife to a meeting with students? The man who is happy with his marriage does. He understood what Blair meant when she said Dean Weatherby loved to see couples, because he was in a great marriage himself. That was it, to tackle Dean Weatherby you had to get to his sappy mode.

Immediately, Dan took Blair's hand and he sees a shocked Blair looking at him.

"What are you doing?" Blair hissed.

"Playing a couple," he whispered. "Look I just get it now okay. So just play along."

Both faked a smile when The Weatherbys approached them. Dan shook their hands first before letting go Blair's hand, just showy enough to make sure they see Dan and Blair as a couple.

"Sorry, have we made you wait?" the wife asked and both young ones shook their heads. "Well, I'm sure you loved your company as well. Both of you make a lovely young couple."

"A couple?" Dean Weather by asked. "I didn't know you were a couple."

"Yeah, well, we're pretty low key," Dan said.

"A pretty extravagant low key if you ask me," Blair added. "Let's go in."

The dinner went fantastic as Dean Weatherby kept talking about him and his wife. Now Dan understood more. Dean Weatherby was not the sappy one. His wife was and Dean Weatherby would do anything to make her happy. Which was why playing a couple would make it an easier step towards their recommendation letter.

"So, enough about us. How did you two love birds meet?" the wife asked them and they stood still. This was why Blair proposed the idea right after their lunch was cancelled so they could practice. But Dan was stubborn about it.

"It was at school," Blair tried and she sees the wife kept looking at her, asking for more.

"Oh come on, I want details," the wife seemed very eager. "I'm sorry, I love every love stories there is. I don't get my chances on young love when I was your age."

"Dear," Dean Weatherby called in.

"Oh Walter, I have a perfect marriage and I am lucky to have you but that is the truth," his wife smiled at him. "We were arranged to be married and if it weren't you and me, we would have been divorced by now."

Dan realized that it's not that the Weatherbys wanted something more, but it was just that they got something they needed and some stories from outside was always just stories. He looked at the older couple. They got what they needed which made them better than just living the dream.

He's good at making up so he thought what the hell. Though he didn't realize he ended up telling the truth.

"I met this girl through an essay competition when we were both juniors," I started. It wasn't a lie, it was actually the first time I have encountered Blair Waldorf. Blair stared at me, a bit surprised. "I thought I had the best essay, the one who should win and honestly I went to see the ceremony just in spite of finding out who is this chick who did better than me. Then I see her receive her medal and all of the other students just cheered for her, and she had this poise when she came down the stage. She looked lonely and I guessed maybe because her parents weren't there. I know I was pissed when my mom had to miss all important events in my life since I was 12."

He stopped a bit and Blair sees himself calming down from something she barely knew.

"Blair was strong though. Unlike me who always bust himself in the bathroom crying, she just stood there, taking it all in and leave that darned sappy sad story behind her. And I thought," Dan looked at Blair. "And I thought I had to meet her." Which was his genuine feelings, but he retreated as his common sense came over and reminded him that she is Blair Waldorf and he is Dan Humphrey. He doesn't just say hi to a Waldorf. Even he knows that.

Dinner went well, and because of what Dan said, Dean Weatherby decided to write recommendation letter for both of them. Anyone could see the bright stars in Blair's eyes when he told her that. When the older couple excused themselves, Blair was left with Dan in front of the restaurant and suddenly, she hugged him.

"Thanks," she slowly said. Dan was dumbfounded and he just nodded. She lets him go and started walking away from him while he just looks at her leaving. Wondering if there was something he had to do. But Blair stopped and looked back. "Why didn't you?"

"What?"

"You said you had to meet me. Why didn't you?" Blair looked at him, sincerely wanting answers.

"I.. uh. I was scared that you'll reject me," he somehow sees a glimmer of hope that she wouldn't that night. He walked slowly towards her, approaching her carefully. "I mean I am that guy everyone kept reminding that he's from Brooklyn. I smell like pork and cheese to you. And I…" If he was honest, he was always intrigued by her, which is why he ignored her most of the time. It would be too complicated and there was way too much differences between their lives. But tonight her doe eyes twinkled at him and he somehow felt dumb that he even considered not meeting her.

"Well, you do smell like pork and cheese," Blair teased and they had to laugh about it. "I mean I don't know how I would react myself. My defense mode is pretty high back then and I think I would have shot you down immediately if you approached me."

Dan looked at her. "What about now?"

She looked up at his eyes. "What about it?"

"Would you meet me now if I approached you?" Dan asked.

She smiled a little. "Maybe."

He had to laugh a little at her sudden shyness. "Hi," he held his hand out. "I'm Dan Humphrey and I really liked your essay, even if my ego got scratched a bit that a girl beat me out."

Blair laughed. "I'm Blair Waldorf. It's nice to see such support from you, Humphrey."

One thing led to another and they were walking back to her place, just talking and having pure conversations. But things weren't as smooth as he hoped it would be the next day as she went back into ignoring him completely at school. That was part of the Upper East Side, no Queen B would mingle with someone from Brooklyn.

Dan watched as Blair faked herself up around the crowd, laughing at whatever genre of jokes the people gave her. She is socializing and he gets that she needs to do this stuff in her part of world. But don't you at least get tired of it. He's still a bit pissed she blew him off after what he thought was a night filled with good conversations about arts and films. He genuinely thought they could be friends. But he knows what these people think of him and he understood why she ignored him the next day. At the very least that maybe a warning sign would suffice.

Dan chugged his scotch and decided he was here tonight to watch Cece. Then he saw her walking down, greeting all the guests in her way. He checks in Serena from time to time and not as uptight, the blonde girl actually had fun conversing with people. That or she's a lil bit drunk.

Then he realized that while Serena is quite the rebel, it was Blair who was much more similar to Cece. A woman who epitomized herself to be an Upper East Side lady. How they strut the floor was actually the same confidence. Dan takes another scotch as he watched Blair closely before looking at Cece.

He looked over at Cece for the time now as he lost Blair from his sight, only to find her sitting beside him at the bar.

"So, you're just going to sit at a bar, not mingling for the whole night?" she asked, asking for a martini.

"That is the purpose of a party, an open bar," he ignored that she still wears the same perfume.

"What are you doing here anyway? Don't you have like crimes to stop in Brooklyn?" Blair sipped her drink.

"You want to hang out again and ignore me tomorrow?" Dan shot back. He had to do it. He sees her guard up but keeping her composure.

"Sorry about that," she slowly puts her drink on the table and Dan was actually surprised she apologized. "I had a plan since I was 13, and you weren't in it. If we'd continue whatever it is we had that night, I'll need to change my plans."

"What were your plans?" Dan asked slowly.

"Graduate the top in my class, Yale, being an editor in a fashion magazine, take over the world…" she was glad Dan laughed at the last part. "I got everything if I go according to plan."

"Why would me being in your life change your plans?" Dan asked. He wasn't understanding this.

She smiled. "Because in spite of all those pork and cheese smell and the fact that you're from Brooklyn, you were a wonderful companion and I know myself enough that if I kept hanging around you I would eventually find myself falling for you. You're the only guy I know who knows who Tati is and would debate about Degaz with me. How could anyone not like you?"

Dan stared at her, beginning to understand her.

"But you dated that Archibald guy in high school," he hoped he was wrong when he almost got to his conclusion.

"Nate was different. He was like every other guy," Blair smiled. "He was the guy I would not prioritize over my own goals."

Dan stared at her, wondering how she can read herself so much that she'll know who she is when she's with someone. But that was her deal, prioritizing what she had, her ambitions. She knew what she wanted and she would sacrifice everything for it. Unlike him, he doesn't know his own priority, not nowadays anyway. He used to be like her, having goals and trying to reach it, but now, he kept looming over the death of Evelyn Parker and tried his best to avoid scandals that can tear someone apart. He knew ambiguity would peeked enough attention.

But trapping himself inside of the ambiguous words actually killed him.

A clink from a glass was heard and there was Cece on the podium ready to give a speech. Dan looked at her, how her poise seemed to carry her confidence and he sees that in the girl beside him. But then he sees that there is a difference between Cece and Blair. Blair had told him an honest truth while Cece still Kept a wall around her. He realized that if Cece wanted a real biography, she had to start being real with him. Trial his ass, he couldn't do it if Cece kept her pretenses.

Cece ended her speech with great applause from the guest. Dan immediately approached her, leaving Blair watching him.

"Great speech," he started, smiling.

"Thank you, Daniel," she waits but he deemed silence. "Listen, I know Diana thinks highly of you but if you don't start…"

"No B.S huh?" Dan stared at her. "You kept pitching to Diana, to me tonight that you wanted people to see the real you, for a writer to write more than just judging her. But here you are keeping this persona of person that everyone projected you to be. Honestly mam, I can't write if you keep pretending. I need you to be honest once we start working on this biography."

Cece started to smile. "Diana was right. You are something else." Cece took her purse and wrote her address on her business card. "We'll start tomorrow in my own home. I'm more comfortable talking about myself in my own territory."

"Okay," Dan nodded and Cece excused herself.

But she called him again, just to ask him a question. "How did you read people so well?"

He looked back and he sees her, the girl that took him away from her life because she had a vision of them being together, him interrupting every time she needs to set new goals.

"I just know a person who is exactly like but not exactly like you," he sees Cece eyeing him. "If that makes sense."

Cece smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Dan realized that tomorrow he will be writing something genuine. He was at fault for writing about Steven Parker, he should be sensitive about his daughter Evelyn, but how long is he keeping this guilt with him? Evelyn probably would follow him forever, but he had to move on. The very least he could do is try telling other people their stories, with their consent, with what they wanted totell. Not a satire, but a life. No more ambiguity.

He looked back and Blair who watched him from afar. His legs carried him there and he pulled her hand, dragged her outside, away from the party. He didn't question on why she kept her silence.

The air was cold and he looked straight at the building in front of him, her hand in his.

"Try," he started. "If you want me to be out of your world, you could at least try. Put some effort."

"I thought I did," she watched him carefully.

"Then why did you open yourself up? Why did you tell me all that?" Dan felt her hand shivered. "Why would you tell me an honest truth?"

Blair looked up at him. "Because I just couldn't help but wonder."

Dan looked down at her, forcing himself to just go away because she will be Blair Waldorf again by tomorrow. It will always be that way.

"What are your plans tomorrow?" he asked.

"What?"

"Tomorrow. What are your plans?" he asked again.

"I have work, at 9 and…"

"I'll pick you up at 8, we're going for coffee," he demanded.

"Excuse me?"

"You have your plans, but you have your free times as well. And I am inserting myself in your life. Even if you ignore me I will make sure you will notice me, I will make sure you would take me in," Dan looked right into her eyes. "I will make sure you don't have to wonder anymore." He sees a smile sparked on her lips and suddenly her lips met his.

It took one night and Dan finds himself a new life. Maybe it was planned, maybe it wasn't. He met the right people at the right time. He met Cece who taught him that everyone has a story to tell, and to have some balls to do it. He met with Serena who taught him to relax once in a while. He met Blair again at the time where she reached most of her goals, getting her new priorities up and he's on the list now too. He met Blair again at the time where his life is not so messed up. He met up with writing again, dropping his judgments and purely writing in the soul of story telling.

THE END

Okay I know there wasn't really a plot but this is how I see it. Every writer has this inner demon in them, and I think Dan's was his judgment towards others. He felt guilty for Evelyn Parker's death but he used it as an excuse to control his own personality. He thinks he is controlling the stories so what happened to Evelyn would not repeat, but he didn't realize that it was the exact same thing he did while writing the Parker story. He didn't realize how he was judgmental, how in fact he was still judging people. But I give him another personality; that he does watch people closely, like the way he sees Blair where all of his judgment dropped because there are certain people that can change you in a split second. Diana sees that in him and forced him to work with Cece.

Then there is Blair and Cece who were pretty much the same person in this story. But they have different reactions when they meet Dan and that totally changes Dan's perspective. I guess in here I would like to input how even the most similar people turns out to react differently. Blair was one with a split personality of wanting and needing. She needed Yale, she needed the job, she needed the social, but she wanted Dan and she always backs out on what she wanted. But everyone wonders for a bit which is why she kept going back and forth. This type of girl needed a push and I put Dan as someone who would push her on what she wanted.

Hope you enjoy!


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